TODAY YOU GET 2 POEMS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

“What’s the Catch?” (A poem)

It was always my dream to run a small business. I wanted to run a storefront centrally located downtown.

When you run a storefront, you never know who’s going to walk through the front doors. You never know who you may meet and what conversations you may have, or how they may move you. When you run a storefront, you never know what kind of day you’re going to have. Every morning, 30 minutes before Google Maps advertises your opening hours, you roll down the gate, unlock the door, and set up the cash till.

There may some days when you don’t open till 1 minute prior to your opening time. The trains gave you trouble. You barely slept. You have a migraine. You decide it will be better to count inventory on the following day and you wait behind the register, clutching your coffee, still wearing your gloves, and pray that customers will wait 20 minutes before walking through the doors. You also pray that you will have customers.

I realize this isn’t everyone’s dreams, but I like surprises. I like my day to change every day.

You have to be ready for the unexpected at any time of the day. You practice reframing techniques in your head. It is OK if you are not awake yet. You can make an innocent joke about needing more caffeine. Sometimes it is in our most vulnerable moments when we can most connect with others. Drink your coffee. You have to be ready for any business at any moment.

If I were to run a storefront, what would I sell?

At your store, you sell an exorbitant array of rhetorical devices. Some devices are new, some are vintage, and some are for sale. All of them are rhetorical. You run the first store that offers rhetorical devices on display and for sale. Your first customer of the day walks in and comments on the sandwich sign that you had set up outside the storefront: “’Today our fish of the day is the red herring.’ What do you mean by that and can I get the red herring?”

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red her·ring

/ˌred ˈheriNG/

1

: a fact, idea, or subject that takes people’s attention away from the central point being considered.

: something that takes attention away from a more important subject.

: a figurative expression referring to a logical fallacy in which a clue or piece of information is or is intended to be misleading.

2

: common response to debunk or deny any new theory in pop cultural discourse channels regarding the HBO Max show The White Lotus. Maybe it’s a red herring.

3

: a type of silvery fish that turns red when dried and smoked; an important source of food in many cultures.

: go fish.